In my eight years since becoming Orthodox, my husband and I have worked to establish liturgical traditions in our home that will give our children and ourselves spiritual stability. Walking through the life of Christ every year with the seasons of the Church helps to create defaults of habit and discipline that were lacking in our faith prior to our conversion. We have 5 children under the age of 10, so what works for our family in this stage of life may be different than what would best serve your own family. However, I have collected below some of our favorite family practices for the season of Advent which I hope may be helpful to you in beginning your own traditions.
During Advent, we adults fast (as a community) according to the Western Rite tradition of consuming only one meal and one collation (snack), not before noon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We also practice abstinence from meat and the juices of meat on those days. Each family can find appropriate ways for their children to participate in the fasts as well, depending on their ages and abilities. Your spiritual father will be able to guide parents in the proper ways to help their children enter into the fasting of the church. One thing we have required of our young children is that they abstain from sweets, treats, and desserts on fasting days. This gives them something to “give up” and prepares them for greater sacrifices as they get older.
As Orthodox Christians, we are expected to increase our attendance at Mass during Advent, as well as renew our commitment to our daily prayers, especially if we have grown lax in this area. By attending Mass more frequently, we are feeding that communal life which binds us together as the body of Christ. During Advent and Lent my husband and I trade off going to a weekday Masses by ourselves (or sometimes taking only one child with us) so that we can focus on participating in the liturgy, which is extremely difficult to accomplish with 5 children in tow.
We also add to our daily devotions in Advent with seasonal readings and prayers from a booklet produced by St. Patrick’s Orthodox Church each year. Saying the St. Andrew Christmas Novena is another favorite Advent tradition. It’s not an exaggeration to say that our children love the Advent Devotions. Each night, we light the candles on our Advent Wreath (a must-have for the season–I got mine at Michael’s craft store, but you can easily find them on Amazon). There are also paper craft versions, if you aren’t comfortable with mixing fire and children. My husband usually leads the Advent prayers, and I (or one of my children) read the excerpt of scripture and the reflection assigned for the day. Then we sing a verse of O Come, O Come Emmanuel.
While the culture around us begins their secular, consumer-focused Christmas festivities as soon as Halloween ends, intentionally delaying our celebration of Christmas creates space for observing the feasts of many important saints. For instance, we celebrate St. Nicholas’s Day on December 6th by reading stories about the life of the real “Santa Claus” and placing chocolate coins in our children’s shoes while they sleep. You may wish to observe other key dates that fall during Advent with your own family, such as the feasts of St. Ambrose, St. Thomas, St. Andrew, the Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, etc. In another post I will provide links for books to share with your family on these holy days so that you can begin your own family traditions.
As a family, we make a point of going to confession during Advent, for ourselves and for our children who are of age. The Sacrament of Confession is an essential preparation to be eligible to receive the Sacrament of the Eucharist at the celebration of Christmas. Christ is coming! Time to clean up our spiritual houses!
I have talked at length about adding prayers and extra devotions to our present commitments, but in order to “make room for Him in the inns of our own hearts,” we may also need to cut back on other attachments that are unnecessary or simply not adding to our spiritual health. This could mean picking up an Orthodox book to read during Advent instead of a secular novel, turning off music on the radio and listening to the Rosary instead, practicing the Jesus Prayer, or keeping silence. It could mean that on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, we commit to not watching TV or playing games on screens, dedicating that reclaimed time to an act of mercy or a spiritual discipline. This is something we try to do in our family on a yearly basis during Advent and Lent. It’s not always “grumble-free,” but it is beneficial to all of our souls, and we often find it makes way for more wholesome family time.
In years past (read: when I had fewer children), I have done the Jesse Tree family devotion at home with my kids. Now that my older kids are attending a religious school, they are continuing that tradition with their classes, but I still highly recommend it as a preparation for Christmas. There are many sets available online from printable cut-outs that can be colored by your kids, to felt versions, to wooden ornaments. Take your pick!
Our kids are very particular about doing the same traditions and putting up the same decorations every year. We have a well-loved cloth Advent Calendar which the kids enjoy adding a piece to every day. Other Orthodox families I know put a little note in the pocket of their Advent calendar for each day with directions on it such as: Write a letter to Grandma, do a chore for your sibling, bake cookies with Mom, read a Christmas book to your little brother/sister, call someone from your church who lives alone, etc. The Nativity set is one of our most beloved family traditions. The Fisher Price Little People Nativity set is honestly a favorite in our household and is played with by all my children.
One other fun resource I have relied on over the years is the Advent Adventure from Holy Heroes, a Catholic website which I have found works well with our Western Rite Orthodox traditions. When you subscribe to the Adventure, the website automatically sends you an email every day with activities to do with your kids which relate to the season of Advent (there is also a Lenten Adventure). You can pick and choose which lessons are beneficial for your little ones. There are engaging videos with kids acting out scripture readings for the day, coloring pages, and worksheets with games, audio recordings of kids saying the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary, and much more.
Sadly, many families struggle even to put food on the table (much less gifts under the tree) during the holidays, so don’t forget to make almsgiving and donating to local food banks and shelters a part of your Advent observances. Our children love picking out food to donate and gifts for kids like them who are in need.
In our family we try to preserve the season of Advent as a true time of preparation for Christ’s coming. One way we attempt to accomplish this is by waiting to decorate the Christmas tree until Gaudete Sunday, the third Sunday in Advent, known to my kids as “the pink week” for the color of the candle on our Advent wreath. In our family, we put up a Christmas tree and lights first (but not ornaments) as light symbolizes the True Light that is coming into the world. Feel free to leave up your decorations for the full Twelve Days of Christmas and (if you want) even until the end of Epiphany on February 2nd, which we call Candlemas.
During Advent we like to listen to music from the beautiful Advent at Ephesus CD put out by the Benedictine nuns at Mary, Queen of Apostles Abbey or Handel’s Messiah. By saving Christmas carols until the true season of Christmastide, we increase the anticipation for the coming event of Christ’s birth and then continue the celebration for the full season following. Speaking of carols, our parish hosts a Lessons and Carols event every year, and it’s something our whole family looks forward to attending. The spectacular talents of the St. Patrick’s Orthodox Choir are on full display that night, and when we hear them sing, we can close our eyes almost begin to imagine the sound of the heavenly angel choirs.
Lastly, a local church in our area puts on an annual, live Bethlehem walk, which we have attended as a family for several years now. This is one of the highlights of our Advent season. Our children enjoy meeting Herod, the three wise men, inn-keepers, a rabbi, real livestock, and of course, the Holy Family. We look forward to this day even more than seeing the Christmas lights! If you can find a live nativity in your town, I highly encourage you to take your family.
Start small. Don’t feel pressured to implement all of these ideas at once. For everything, there is a season. Perhaps pick one or two new things to try with your family this Advent. My hope is that this blog will be a helpful resource for other Orthodox families who want to grow together into a deeper faith. I pray that knowing more about our family traditions can enrich your experience of the beauty and holiness of our liturgical seasons.
Since becoming Orthodox, I have drawn so much life and significance from the observance of the seasons of penitence and self-reflection. It is through the deprivations of the fast that we are enabled to fully realize and enjoy the feasts! I wish you and yours a blessed and fruitful Advent.