Finding a Patron Saint
As a convert to Orthodoxy, celebrating “Name Days,” or the feast days of patron saints, was a new concept for me. I had heard that Orthodox converts often adopted a patron saint at their Chrismation and were even called by that name thereafter, in some churches. I wasn’t given a “Christian” name at birth. Frankly, I was named after a Russian neighbor because my mom liked the sound of her name. Some people I knew had a “baptismal name,” but I was baptized at age 12, and it wasn’t a custom in my denomination to change your name at baptism. Until becoming Orthodox, I had never even heard of the martyr St. Adrian of Nicomedia (306AD) from which the name Adrienne is derived, and I likewise knew nothing of St. Emmelia of Caesarea (375AD), called the “Mother of Saints”, who was to become my patron saint.
While still a catechumen, I fretted about how to choose a patron saint. I confess that I felt a lot of pressure to select the right person. As a Protestant, I had experienced little to no connection to the “communion of saints” or the “great cloud of witnesses.” If you have ever talked to anyone who has a patron saint that is meaningful to them, you might hear a common story that the saint actually chooses you. Historically, children would even be named for the saint whose feast day was celebrated on or near the birth day of the baby. One of my favorite stories of Orthodox patrons and naming comes from my nephew Jackson. He’s not Orthodox, but over the years, I have actually “adopted” saints to intercede for my non-Orthodox family members. Thinking about who to choose for him, I decided on one of the Johns because the origin of the nickname “Jack” comes from the given name John. Then, when I remembered my nephew’s birthday was June 24th, I was stunned. Jack shares a birthday with John the Baptist. It was meant to be.
So, back to how I found my patron saint. During our Orthodox “inquirer” meetings with Fr. Patrick, he talked about his chosen patron saints like he knew them personally. I can tell you, I had never met anyone who talked like that about the saints. Apparently, Fr. Patrick had a “relationship” with the Patriarch Jacob, and if I’m honest this struck me as a little weird at first. But since that time, his two eldest daughters have married people named Jacob! I don’t think this was an accident or a coincidence. I mean, it really makes you wonder, how much was this patron saint working behind the scenes, interceding for this family?
Before I was Chrismated, I told Fr. Patrick that I didn’t have a natural patron and didn’t know who to pick. Feeling unqualified to choose someone for myself, I asked for his guidance and trusted that he wouldn’t steer me wrong. Father told me, “I’ll pray about it and find out who wants you.” I marveled. Father was going to ask the saints, and one of them was going to pick me? My one stipulation was to have a “motherly” patron that I could reach out to in my vocation as a mother of two (at the time). On Christmas Day 2012, my husband, daughter, and myself were welcomed into the Orthodox Church through Chrismation (my newborn son would join us at his baptism on Epiphany). Before we entered the sanctuary, I asked Father who would be my patron saint. He chose St. Emmelia, mother to ten children, five of whom are recognized as saints by the Church (including St. Basil the Great and St. Gregory of Nyssa). She wanted me? Oh boy, what was God going to ask of me in the years to come? Emmelia set the bar very high.
Naming children
I’m going to write another blog post about Orthodox baby naming, so I’ll save most of my thoughts on this for later and keep this brief. Technically, Mark and I had our first two children before we became Orthodox. Our eldest, a daughter, was born to us when we were attending a Reformed Episcopal Church in Houston, Texas. Our second child, our first son, was born while we were attending Orthodox catechism classes. Up to that point, we had not made a conscious decision to choose “Christian” names for our children. Truly, we strongly considered Violet our my daughter and Atticus for our son (names I still love), but fortunately (or perhaps providentially), our first two kids, Constance (St. Constantine) and Mark “Ross” Jr. (St. Mark the Evangelist), already had built-in saint names. Since being received into Orthodoxy, we have brought three more children into the church through birth: Ambrose, Veronica, and Silas, each with ready-made patrons to intercede on their behalf.
It’s truly a thing of beauty when your child takes joy from connection with a saint and draws meaning, membership, and identity through that relationship. You should see the joy spread across their faces when Father mentions their patron saints in a litany before a baptism or when they find an icon of their special saint in a church we visit while traveling. It sure beats naming your child after an athlete or a celebrity that may one day let them down. The saints will always point your child to God by their example!
I think it’s commendable to give your child the gift of a holy example to aspire to through their name, but it doesn’t have to be their first name. Patron saint names can be a middle name or even not your name at all (like my patron, Emmelia). If trying to decide on a patron saint when converting, consider whose feast days are commemorated on your birthday. Another idea is to look at names that start with the same letter. For example, I chose St. Michael the Archangel for my nephew McCord. One more thought is to choose someone who is the patron of something important to your life. I selected St. Cecilia, the patroness of music, for my grandmother’s patron because music was so key to her identity. Certainly, prayer is key. Ask the Lord to guide you in selecting the right patron saint.
When we name our children after saints (at birth or Chrismation), we are asking those saints to pray to God for our children. As your children get older, they may want to adopt new saints they learn about into their spiritual “saint family.” The more, the merrier!
How we celebrate Name Days in our home
A cradle Orthodox friend informed me that in his family growing up, the Name Day was even more important than a birthday! Over the years, they have become very important in our home as well. Most of what we do to commemorate Name Days I learned from a blog called Catholic All Year by Kendra Tierney. She is a traditional Catholic who writes a blog (and books) about liturgical living. As Western Rite Orthodox Christians, there are many saints and traditions that we share in common with our devout Catholic brothers and sisters. Like my patroness, Kendra is also a mother of ten children. On her blog, Kendra explained how their family gave each person “three special days.” In their home, one way they make each member of the family feel special is to celebrate their birthday, their name day, and their baptismal day (in which they light their baptismal candle and renew their vows). Sometimes people in their family share a celebration when the feast days fall closely together.
On the feast day of our patron saints, the person whose Name Day is being celebrated is allowed to choose the main dish to be served at dinner (full disclosure: most of my kids choose mac and cheese) and the dessert. That person also gets to eat their meal on a special plate. This is very important to the children. They do not let me forget about their plate!
Sometimes, what day to celebrate the Name Day is obvious (such as the date of the saint’s death), but occasionally the East and the West have different feast days for pre-Schism saints. When this happens, we check the Western Rite (WR) Vicariate Ordo to see if there is a commemoration listed. If not, we usually go with the Western date, rather than the Eastern. Also, look out on your WR calendar for when a feast day gets transferred (or bumped) due to a more important feast (such as during Holy Week).
Like at a birthday, we also light a candle for Name Days. I’ve picked up 7 tall, jar candles in various colors from the international section of the grocery store and selected one color for each person (but you can use whatever you have on hand, too). Then, we set out their patron saint icon on a stand and place it at the table with us (or nearby), as an extended member of the family.
Next, we read a passage about the life of the saint. If I have a book, we read that while we are still gathered at the dinner table, if not, I simply print out a reading about the saint’s life from the internet. Before dessert, we sing the Orthodox favorite: “God Grant You Many Years.” I think Kendra’s family sings “For He’s/She’s a Jolly-Good Fellow,” but to each his own!
Last year as we were reading a new (to us) source about the life of St. Mark, we discovered the legend of the “naked fugitive” mentioned in Mark 14:51-52. Many believe that the man who ran away naked in the Garden of Gethsemane was St. Mark himself. So, we decided to do an impromptu “fun run” in which all the kids chased our son Mark around the yard, trying to get his “loin cloth.” You can make up your own family traditions just like this! Name Days don’t have to be entirely liturgical. They can be fun and games too!
Gifts are usually small in number, perhaps one from the family and one from the god-family. If the god-family lives nearby, we invite them to join us for the meal. In our house, presents for Name Days are usually religious in nature. A great place to begin is by searching for an Orthodox icon for your child of their patron saint. They can keep it in their bedroom or in your family icon corner. For future Name Days, you can get them their own Orthodox Bible, a crucifix necklace, a prayer bracelet, a spiritually edifying children’s book, etc. For us, Name Days are about remembering the holy lives and sacrifices made by faithful Christians in history. However we choose to celebrate their feast days, it should at least be in ways that honor them and, most importantly, God. How do you think St. Patrick feels about the things that are done in his name every year on his feast?
If Father is offering a Mass for our patron saint, we make a special effort to attend. This is often an opportunity for my husband or myself to spend one-on-one time at church with one of our kids. They look forward to hearing their name in the Mass when Father offers prayers dedicated to their patron saint, and they especially enjoy getting sprinkled with holy water and receiving a blessing prayer from the priest after Mass. If we ask, our priest is great about adding a Mass to the calendar, if there isn’t one already being celebrated for our patron that day. I don’t think there is anything a saint would want more for you to do to commemorate their day than going to Mass.
Don’t worry too much if the Name Day falls on a week day and you have to wait until the weekend or until the godparents can come over to celebrate. Just do what works for your family, and make it special! You may be able to find relevant prayers dedicated to your family’s patron saints by looking at the Mass for that feast day in the Saint Andrew Daily Missal (a book I feel is indispensable for Western Rite Orthodox Christians) to determine if there is a commemoration. Failing that, I search online for troparia and kontakia prayers for the saint (bringing in a little help from our Eastern Rite friends). If I can’t find a prayer to say in veneration of the certain saint, we use the one below from the Saint Ambrose Prayer Book:
O great saint [I insert the name here] whose name I bear, protect me, pray for me, that like you I may serve God faithfully on earth and glorify Him eternally with you in heaven. Amen.
May our chosen patrons intercede for us always to Jesus! Blessed be God in His angels and in His saints!